So today I’m spilling the beans on that whole RCB coach training my company shoved down our throats last month. Honestly, I rolled my eyes so hard when they announced it. Another corporate buzzword technique? Fantastic.
Walking In Completely Skeptical
Day one, I grabbed the mandatory binder – thick as a brick – and plopped into the cheap plastic chair feeling like a hostage. The facilitator started yammering about “Revolutionizing Cognitive Behavior” and building elite coaches. Big words. My brain just went: “Yeah, right. Show me.”
Actually Trying the Weird Stuff
First exercise felt stupid: pairing up and practicing “active listening.” Basically, mirroring back what your partner said. My partner, Dave from accounting, started babbling about his commute woes. My job was to repeat it. Seriously? Felt robotic. But then… something shifted.
Dave suddenly leaned forward. “You actually heard me about the train delays!” he said, surprised. I hadn’t just parroted; I’d summarized his frustration about the transfer station crowds. Huh. Wasn’t expecting a reaction like that.
We moved into the “Core Questioning Framework”:
- Clarify the Pinch Point: Not just “What’s the problem?” but digging into what exactly feels blocked. Had to ask Dave three times to get past “my project is stuck” to “I’m paralyzed choosing between vendor A’s cost and vendor B’s risk.”
- Unpack the “Why Now?”: Why is this suddenly a big deal today? What changed? For Dave, a deadline got moved up by two weeks. Context matters.
- Spot the Self-Sabotage: This one was uncomfortable. We practiced spotting the little voice saying “You’ll fail anyway.” Had to gently ask Dave: “When you think about choosing Vendor B, what immediately pops into your head?” He admitted: “I picture the boss yelling if it goes over budget.” Bingo.
The “Lightbulb” Moment (Fine, I Admit It)
Then came the “Behavioral Nudges” part. Instead of just telling someone what to do (“Do this! Do that!”), suggesting tiny, easy steps. Role-play time again. I was the coach, Dave was stuck.
Old me would have launched into solutions. But I paused. I remembered the nudge thing. “Alright,” I said, “between vendors A and B… what’s one stupidly small piece of information you could gather on Vendor B’s risk by, say, lunchtime tomorrow? Something taking less than 15 minutes?”
Dave thought. “Well… I could just quickly call Mark in Procurement, ask if he’s heard any whispers?”
“Exactly!” I caught myself actually sounding enthusiastic. That tiny step wasn’t scary for him. Later, Dave said that felt way less overwhelming than “research all risks.” Okay, maybe this wasn’t entirely snake oil.
Putting It Into Practice For Real
I got voluntold to use this on Sarah, a junior engineer stressing about leading her first tiny project. Skeptical Sarah too. Instead of my usual “Here’s how you should plan it,” I took a breath.
- Pinch Point: Asked, “What part of leading this project feels the wobbliest right this second?” (Her: “Running the status meeting next week! What if no one talks?”)
- Why Now? “Is the meeting format new?” (Her: “Yes! And I heard the senior PM is attending. Crap.”) Ah.
- Self-Sabotage: “When you picture the quiet meeting,” I ventured, “what’s the absolute worst thing your brain tells you will happen?” (Her sheepishly: “I’ll look like an idiot who can’t lead.”)
- The Nudge: “What’s the absolute smallest thing you could test-drive about the meeting format before Friday?” She decided: “I’ll just ask Jamie for 5 minutes today to literally rehearse the first question I ask.”
Following up? She tried it with Jamie. Felt less panicked. Didn’t solve everything, but cracked the ice. Sarah actually said, “That wasn’t so scary.” Progress.
Where I Stand Now
Look, it’s still got corporate training stink on it. Some of the handouts were pure jargon confetti. But the core tools – listening hard, asking the right clarifying questions, spotting fear-brain in action, focusing on microscopic next steps – actually work. Shocking, I know.
Am I suddenly the world’s best coach? Nope. Do I still grumble about forced training? Absolutely. But I’m stealing those techniques whenever someone seems stuck. They turn a mountain back into manageable molehills. Even if you hate the idea, try the active listening and tiny nudges. Might surprise you. Definitely surprised me.
