Alright folks, grab a coffee and settle in. Wanted that snappy English Premier League map for my project faster than a Liverpool counterattack, yeah? Here’s exactly how this messy kitchen got cooked – step by step, warts and all.
The “Why This Sucks Right Now” Moment
Opened my usual map software yesterday afternoon, feeling fancy. Started dragging teams around, Arsenal here, City there… Five minutes in? Total gridlock. Felt like coding a website with Notepad. Slow. Clunky. Made me wanna smash my keyboard. Needed it DONE for a client call later that week. No time for this nonsense.
What Actually Worked? Six Ugly Steps
Stopped whining and just got dirty. Ditched the fancy tools. Went caveman mode:
- STEP ONE: Grab the freaking list.
- STEP TWO: Paper beats mouse.
- STEP THREE: Pick ONE stupid colour.
- STEP FOUR: Lines? What lines?!
- STEP FIVE: Name slapping.
- STEP SIX: Export and RUN.
The Beautifully Imperfect Result
This ain’t winning design awards. It looks rough, honestly. Teams lumped near cities? Kinda. Colours? Monstrous green blobs. Connections? A blindfolded toddler drew them. BUT – it took under 90 minutes. It works. Shows who’s where, who hates who (sort of). Client emailed back: “Map received, perfect for our needs.” THAT’S the win. Sometimes fast and functional beats pretty and slow. Every damn time when the clock’s ticking. Your turn. Go make an ugly, useful map.
