Alright let’s dump this test speed mess right on the table. Woke up grinding my teeth again, same nightmare – tests dragging for hours like molasses in January. Needed to slam through 10,000 runs yesterday. Which trick actually gets you there fastest? Screw reading papers, I grabbed my coffee mug and dove headfirst.
The Starting Line Disaster
Tried the obvious first – just smashing that big red RUN button. No tricks. Felt like watching grass grow. After an hour? Barely scraped 300 runs. My thumb hurt from clicking refresh. No no no, this ain’t working. Switched tabs fast.
Round Two: Hype Mode Engaged
Heard that “parallel” thing was hot, right? Tried throwing every laptop in the house at it – mine, the kid’s school Chromebook, even the dusty one from 2015. Logged into Jenkins (shudder), spun up some “parallel magic.” Setup took longer than my morning routine. Finally hit GO. Computers fought like cats in a sack. After lunch? Maybe hit 1500 runs. Felt like organizing a toddler birthday party – too much yelling, not enough cake. Total mess.
The Garage Sale Strategy
Suddenly realized – what if I chop the big job into bite-sized pieces? Like selling junk at a garage sale – smaller piles = faster sorting. Dug into the settings:
- Chopped the huge test group into tiny batches of 5
- Slapped cheap tags on ’em like “Buy One Get One Free”
- Made sure each junk… I mean test… stood alone
Hit GO again. Held my breath. The progress bar? Actually MOVED. Like, visibly crawled. Drank half my coffee. Looked back… 2000! Not amazing, but definitely faster than the laptop wrestling match.
The Sneaky Shortcut
Noticed something dumb. Every single test wasted forever just loading stuff from scratch. Like baking cookies from flour each time instead of buying dough. Felt like an idiot. Told the system:
- “Keep the oven hot between batches!”
- “Skip the flour grinding every time!”
Used that leftover “state” trick everyone whispers about. Suddenly? The batches weren’t just running – they were sprinting. 5000 runs blinked past before I finished my sandwich.
Final Countdown… to Coffee Refill
Slapped the batch thing + the hot oven trick together. Kept refreshing like a maniac. Numbers ticked up:
- 3000
- 6000
- 8500…
Grabbed my empty mug for a refill. Walked back. Screen blinked: 10,042 runs. Done. Time elapsed? Less than I spent arguing with cable support last week. Felt good. Real good.
So what delivers fastest? Look, skip the fancy jargon and team projects. Chop. Keep stuff hot. Watch the clock instead of the ceiling. Works for me.
